Well! She must be patient. Sooner or later the mists would be cleared away.
-Elizabeth Gaskell, North and South
Reader, if you have been following my story, you have probably discerned that I adore chasing my tail as much as the next canine. Indeed, it is a favorite method for me to express my emotions–to put into some sort of action the overwhelming cacophony of sensations which sometimes comes upon me. But, lately, I have been thinking that perhaps it is only a symptom of my getting into a rut, of my losing track of time, and of my failure to move forward in my quest to discover my brother’s story. Even when I catch my tail, what I have I attained?
I have often been going to the door at the slightest noise, waiting for my brother to appear and to finally disclose to me all of the secrets he has been keeping. How did he disappear in our childhood? What happened to his eye? What is the danger he fears, and why has he not asked me to join him in fighting whatever evil there may be?
I have been sniffing every corner and sign post, searching for a sign from Orange Boy. Without my having realized it, my regular enjoyments had become empty and I brood upon my one encounter with Orange Boy until it feels unreal, even to me, as though I could only have imagined it, and that there was no long-lost brother in the mists, but only a phantom, born out of my own desire for the canine companionship lost so long ago.
Don’t fear for me, reader. I will scrape through this trying time, only I wish I knew some direct action I could take to sooner accomplish my ends. I am of a spirited disposition, and my energy, without a proper channel, does tend to end in frustration. Man and Woman play with me and take me for walks, and I love these things…I am sure I shall feel better soon, though at the moment, I can’t help feeling that I am simply chasing my tail, and that perhaps I have been doing so ever since puppyhood…